wotanon | Dreamers After Dark (VII)

[She doesn't quiet him, letting him cry it out, and holds him easily, kissing his hair and stroking it.]

It's going to be okay, Vivi. I have you. I won't let anything happen to you here, I promoise.

[Levity clings to her helplessly - even though it may not seem like that from the trail of flowers, it's been quite, quite a long time for him. Lily's touch is very soothing, but it's hard to let go of so much fear all at once.]

I want to go home...

[--except he doesn't really know what it is, or where it is, or if he can get back at all, and maybe this place is all the future he has left, letting strange and alien things feed on him.

Though he doesn't articulate them, the feelings of despair echo through the dream clearly enough - particularly for a Baritones.]

I'll take you somewhere.

[The dream shifts, changes.

They're in a chalet with many windows that let in natural light, though it is tinted slate with Winter. It's snowing outside, big, gentle flakes falling silently onto a pristine blanket of white. Flowers and vines cannot exist, here.

A fire crackles in a large fireplace, the sounds homely and inviting as the flames dance on the burning wood. There's a scent that wafts from it, too. Cedar, maybe.

There are books everywhere. Shelves and shelves of them.

But, for now, Lily still holds Levity in her arms, both of them huddled together on a large couch by the fire.]

[LETTING MYSELF HAVE LITTLE A TAG AS A TREAT

Levity startles briefly as the dream changes again, looks around them in confusion--but the setting really is very calming, and there is something... almost nostalgic about it, about the flakes outside and the gentle amber of fire and the rows of books.

He breathes out slowly, wrapping his arms around Lily more comfortably, curling closer to her. He doesn't have words yet, simply breathing in her scent, letting her touch and the gentle atmosphere calm him down slowly.]

[She continues to hold him, rubbing his back, harbouring no intentions to leave or move until he's calmed down and even then.]

You're okay, it's going to be okay, Vivi. Just breathe, just like that for me.

[Her voice is calm and deep, not easily moved. Something he can anchor himself to alongside her touch.]

[Levity nods, relaxing, stays quiet for a time... and then the aftermath of the fear returns; after all, all they'd done was delay it until he was in a safe place to break down.

It's soft, almost subdued, the way he tries to hide more in her embrace, trembling as the tears come again - he cries quietly, as though terrified to draw attention to himself; one hand he brings up to his chest, clutching at it helplessly. Those things are gone, Levity knows, yet somehow their absence, too, is frightening - after he'd gotten used to them, resigned himself to that endless, joyless journey. To be given comfort and safety and affection after that... there is a terror in that. A terror at the thought of losing them again, and of thinking himself deserving of them--after all, it was so much easier to weather the steel slowly consuming him if he could... stop seeing himself as a person, think that he deserves it.

One again, these thoughts are wordless, but almost palpable, the fear and desperation for safety and simultaneous rejection of it colouring the dream.]

Don't. You're real, you're a person. You deserve to have comfort and safety, as much as you can stand and more, and I won't leave you. I'm right here.

[She holds him a little tighter and continues to stroke him, her words firm, but so soft. She understands this. She says it again:]

I'm right here. Let yourself be scared and hurt and I'll pick up the pieces. You're going to be okay.

[A person... He both wants to think of himself as one and dreads it at the same time. Being human... is scary. It's so much easier not to be a person, because that way he doesn't have to care, he doesn't have to feel that weight of everything that is to come looming over him, he doesn't--]

I...

[He clings to Lily, fingers digging into her clothes.]

I'm so scared, Lily...

[She reaches to hold his face, thumbs brushing his cheeks so delicately, so fondly.]

I know...it's scary. But you're not alone. We're here for you. I'm here for you.

[His breath comes ragged again as he leans into her touch, his tears wetting Lily's fingers.]

It... It shouldn't be like this... Why do these things happen, why do we--

[There's a lot Levity can't put into words - his visceral, deep rejection of the nature of their new reality, his fear of becoming part of it, of becoming less and less of himself before his self is gone. Would he even notice by then?]

[she doesn't mind the wetness and looks at him, her conviction deep and unshakeable]

If you think yourself missing your pieces, I will find them for you.

[There's a half-gasp, half-sob from him at that and he tenses briefly, his mind trying to process the words. He was resigned to getting broken, to never recovering those pieces, to dwindling away over time. Almost as though he did not deserve any better.

With a small noise he lowers his head, sucking in short, quiet breaths.]

Please... please help me, Lily... and--

[I want to do the same for you.]

[He lowers his head, but she lifts it a little, so that he can see her, see her eyes, and know she means every word she says.]

I will do my best for you for as long as I can. I promise.

[She wonders, though, if she is beyond...recovering some things. She can feel that intent, but she doesn't want lead him on any wild, fruitless chases for things that may be beyond reclamation.]

Dreamers After Dark (VII)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject