wotanon | dreampost: even more after dark edition

[...]

About how we must be dreaming right now.

[aha. . . well]

Yeah.

[no arguments there]

I kinda figured we were from the get go.

Is this something you dream about often?

. . . no. I've never dreamed about it before now.

[ah, but like]

I've thought about it while awake, but I don't dwell.

I can't dwell.

[shimmies down a bit so he can press a soft kiss to ren's neck]

Is it painful?

[his eyes flutter, a light purr rumbling in his throat at the contact]

No. It isn't like it's unrequited.

It's—

[he hesitates]

. . . I can't. And I don't wanna give you expectations that I can't follow through with.

[though part of him worries he may have already]

What kind of expectations do you think I have?

[another kiss, followed by nuzzling]

I don't expect you to return my feelings. I actually... never expect anyone to. I only want to be acknowledged. If you can recognize my feelings, that is enough for me. I would not ask for more than that, because I know it would be selfish.

[. . . his mouth curves, smile gentle]

The problem is I do.

[runs his hand done Fox's back, touch feather light]

I'm torn in so many directions that I dunno what to do about it. I can't be with. . . everyone I feel that way for. It tears me in too many directions and I wouldn't be able to give them all what they deserve.

But that doesn't mean that I don't wish I could. Sometimes.

[a small exhale]

I don't wanna get anyone's hopes up just to say, "I can't."

... are you saying that because you are afraid that you actually could?

[his hand stops at the small of Fox's back, hovering just above indecency]

No.

I know that I can't.

[... nods, and curls into him, nosing along his neck]

You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.

[yes good, more of this. his hand starts moving along Fox's back again, and he huffs]

Nah.

I'm not.

[fox's tails sway to and fro, tickling ren's hand]

You are. Don't you think it would be worse if you had told me you want to be with me the way you want to, without any thought for the consequences it would have?

[fox tails. . .]

[TIME TO PET]

Well. . . yeah. I— guess.

That doesn't make me strong, though.

[oh he likes the petting. fox's eyelids lower and he lets out a pleased hum]

It is a kind of strength--to know one's limits, and be honest with oneself when it comes to what you can and cannot do.

[...]

I know that thought must not be very comforting right now, though.

[. . . huffs a little, digging his fingers into the fur of Fox's tails]

It's not discomforting, either.

[sighs into ren's neck, clearly pleased by this attention]

No promises... but we still have this. And I am going to make it count.

[sits up and pushes ren onto his back, straddling his lap to he can lean over him]

[a sharp, surprised inhale of breath, his eyes growing wide. but Fox is definitely sliding against him in very interesting ways, and it totally doesn't take much for that astonishment to turn dark with interest]

[a breathless laugh, and Mars presses his fingers into the skin near Fox's hips]

Yeah. . .? How so?

[fox's gaze is growing heated as well, and he licks his lips as his eyes rake over mars. he can't quite stop himself from rolling his hips as he shifts his position]

And ruin the surprise?

[his eyes flutter as he focuses on that sensation, on the chill of pleasure it sends coursing down his spine. his grip on Fox's hips tightens]

Hhhha. Fair.

. . . I still remember my name, after all.

[fox leans down to kiss mars, slow and indulgent, before murmuring into mars's lips]

I can't have that.

[if this is all they have, fox intends to savor it, so that it feels like a memory and not a dream when he wakes up]

[and Mars tilts his chin up to meet Fox halfway, his own kiss a little less slow, a little more heated. he mutters as well, breathless and wanting as his hands glide up Fox's sides, across his back]

-- I can't wait.

[fox gives mars a coy smile before his mouth moves to mars's jawline, down to his neck, and chest, and stomach, and hips, and further and further down...

...

...

afterwards, once fox can no longer take it, and he's done everything he can to thoroughly exhaust and satisfy mars, he curls up around him from behind, nuzzling the back of mars's neck. they're both sweaty but it's spooning time now, shut up]

[WHY IS MARS NOT THE BIG SPOON--]

[. . . which is not at all the thought he's having right now as he curls his back into Fox, breathing still quick and ragged as he comes down from the high of whatever that was, mouth parted slightly and damp bangs matted to his forehead]

[SPOONING TIME IS NOW AND MARS IS NOT AT ALL GOING TO COMPLAIN]

[because!!!!

fox places a soft kiss on the back of mars's neck and lets out a sigh of both exhaustion and delight. time to bask and spoon]

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