dreampost: even more after dark edition

[wotanon]

[ shit's going to be sexy in here.

please list what you're open or not open to somewhere in your toplevel pls and thank ]

Comments

[rollplayinghouse]

...It's... it feels good, obviously, but that's not all of it. Like I said, the wanting is important.

[considers]

You know how I mentioned before, how I'm not sure I feel things as much as other people, or in the same way...? I think this is like that too. When I'm with someone, and we both want each other that way, it's—obviously not a problem. I feel a lot, like that. We're feeling the same way. And we can both push each other, make each other feel more... When it's like that, I can't be self-conscious, either.

And it's also nice to feel like I'm... together with someone.

1/2

[sancrimony]

[ listening to her, nodding along, but abruptly he realizes something and begins to sit up ]

. . . Oh -

[sancrimony]

[ wait. conversation.

easing himself back down. ]

. . . My apologies then, for offering - I see.

On the matter of feeling - not just for this, though maybe that might be a good idea as well - might I ask if you've tried a Buddy Bond, through Heart Soldier Senshi?

[rollplayinghouse]

[...well, that's good, probably]

...I did it with Primrose, briefly. Not—for sex, just—but she didn't understand why I felt uneasy about it, to start with, so it wasn't really...

[sancrimony]

Ah - because it's invasive?

[rollplayinghouse]

No, not exactly. More because... well, because I was worried she wouldn't understand my feelings.

[sancrimony]

. . . Did your fear come true?

[rollplayinghouse]

...Kind of. At least as far as the uneasiness. We didn't really—get into any of my deeper feelings. But, she's not the type of person who I feel like understands me best, anyway...

[sancrimony]

Who do you think would?

[rollplayinghouse]

...Mars or King would, more.

[sancrimony]

Ah, I meant in general. Since, that unit has the ability to pair other people together, too.

[rollplayinghouse]

Oh... I didn't know that.

Well, they're still probably some of the top people. After Intensity. But there are a lot of others. A, Man Eater, Nine Nine, Griffin... Cardigan, Silk... Angel, Silence, Whisky...

[sancrimony]

Hey, would you bed any of them? Besides the ones you've already listed.

[rollplayinghouse]

I—well...

[goes through the list]

I have with A, but we broke up, and he's still really insecure about me being more into Intensity. I've gotten fanmail with both Cardigan and Silk, but I don't think I'm really interested in them like that. Definitely not Angel or Silence. Whisky...

[...]

...maybe...?

[sancrimony]

[ SITS UP ]

You should definitely try with him, then!

[rollplayinghouse]

Wh—

...Didn't you just say you don't like sharing?

[sancrimony]

It's not that I don't like sharing - it's, uhm . . .

[ rrrolls over onto his back ]

In the first place, with Whisky-san - we'd already established from the beginning that he could sleep with other people, and it doesn't bother me at all for him to do that. Moreover, if something troublesome were to happen, then he can handle himself, so I don't have to worry.

[rollplayinghouse]

You don't think Doodle can handle himself?

1/

[sancrimony]

... Well -

................

[ pulling his hair to his face ]

Whether he can handle it or not . . . isn't really it. Rather -

If it's a fight, he certainly can't win. Even so, he'll try to protect himself, and he's a coward that will run away at the best opportunity, so it's not really a big deal, physically speaking. But being taken advantage of - because of the sort of person he is -

[sancrimony]

[ he takes a moment, huffs - and then, speaks more softly ]

I think it started out as feeling protective, but at some point, it changed to something else.

. . . It's not that I dislike it, but right now, my feelings are all over the place, so . . . it would be troublesome. If I thought about it more, then maybe I could . . .

[sancrimony]

[ there's a moment of silence, where his expression hardens, a crease in his brow like he looks pained - ]

[sancrimony]

[ . . . ]

5/6

[sancrimony]

[ then, it disappears, melting away into a peaceful expression as he starts to sit himself up ]

No, I'd definitely be alright with it, if he wanted to do so - I'll definitely be alright with it. If it's something he wants to do, then he can do as he likes. I'm more than happy for him, so long as he's treated fairly, and so long as he treats that person fairly. That's fine with me - for someone else to love him too, that's more than wonderful.

[sancrimony]

[ and he pulls his hands down, letting his hair trail over his shoulders ]

Simply - well -

Hahaha, I don't know. That's why it's troublesome. When it comes to him . . . It's a jumbled mess. Even more recently, between that house, the grudge that possessed ☆ZRAEL, and then the monster game just recently . . . No, I could say even before that, there was something bubbling, but . . .

. . . To be honest, I'm pretty slow when it comes to my own feelings, and they're difficult to speak of. I've thought and thought about it, but rather than anything like a breakthrough for them, it's like I'm always treading the same ground, walking in circles until I get tired and find something else to do. Well . . .

[ with a helpless sort of laugh ]

So that's why, I'm troublesome when it comes to him. Or rather, I'm troubled. Haha.

[rollplayinghouse]

...

[looks at him for several seconds in silence]

Well... I'll just say that, in my experience, trying to act like you're alright with something when you're not doesn't help anything. Or, trying to do things the way you think you're 'supposed' to, either. It just messes things up.