dreampost: even more after dark edition

[wotanon]

[ shit's going to be sexy in here.

please list what you're open or not open to somewhere in your toplevel pls and thank ]

Comments

[sancrimony]

[ briefly, considering it for a moment before speaking, perhaps a little slower and softer than he means to be: ]

Do you find me strange? About that, that is.

[rollplayinghouse]

[hmm]

...It's not like I know what's normal. Wasn't that my question in the first place? I don't really get it, but there are a lot of things I don't get on the other side, too. Like... being into people just physically. So... if it's fine with you, and the people you're with, then...?

[sancrimony]

From my own experience, I feel like Maki-san must be normal . . . ?

[ contemplatively, sinking back onto the floor ]

If it's fine for us - well . . .

[ hum ]

Probably . . . Probably it's fine - at least, I think it's better now than before - but I'm unsatisfied by it. That is - I wonder if I could be better about it. I can't tell anymore, when enough is enough, so it's difficult to measure.

[ the last sentence seems to be more broad, a different subject entirely; idly, his tail flops ]

Actually - what is it that you get out of it? What do you look forward to, with it?

[rollplayinghouse]

...It's... it feels good, obviously, but that's not all of it. Like I said, the wanting is important.

[considers]

You know how I mentioned before, how I'm not sure I feel things as much as other people, or in the same way...? I think this is like that too. When I'm with someone, and we both want each other that way, it's—obviously not a problem. I feel a lot, like that. We're feeling the same way. And we can both push each other, make each other feel more... When it's like that, I can't be self-conscious, either.

And it's also nice to feel like I'm... together with someone.

1/2

[sancrimony]

[ listening to her, nodding along, but abruptly he realizes something and begins to sit up ]

. . . Oh -

[sancrimony]

[ wait. conversation.

easing himself back down. ]

. . . My apologies then, for offering - I see.

On the matter of feeling - not just for this, though maybe that might be a good idea as well - might I ask if you've tried a Buddy Bond, through Heart Soldier Senshi?

[rollplayinghouse]

[...well, that's good, probably]

...I did it with Primrose, briefly. Not—for sex, just—but she didn't understand why I felt uneasy about it, to start with, so it wasn't really...

[sancrimony]

Ah - because it's invasive?

[rollplayinghouse]

No, not exactly. More because... well, because I was worried she wouldn't understand my feelings.

[sancrimony]

. . . Did your fear come true?

[rollplayinghouse]

...Kind of. At least as far as the uneasiness. We didn't really—get into any of my deeper feelings. But, she's not the type of person who I feel like understands me best, anyway...

[sancrimony]

Who do you think would?

[rollplayinghouse]

...Mars or King would, more.

[sancrimony]

Ah, I meant in general. Since, that unit has the ability to pair other people together, too.

[rollplayinghouse]

Oh... I didn't know that.

Well, they're still probably some of the top people. After Intensity. But there are a lot of others. A, Man Eater, Nine Nine, Griffin... Cardigan, Silk... Angel, Silence, Whisky...

[sancrimony]

Hey, would you bed any of them? Besides the ones you've already listed.

[rollplayinghouse]

I—well...

[goes through the list]

I have with A, but we broke up, and he's still really insecure about me being more into Intensity. I've gotten fanmail with both Cardigan and Silk, but I don't think I'm really interested in them like that. Definitely not Angel or Silence. Whisky...

[...]

...maybe...?

[sancrimony]

[ SITS UP ]

You should definitely try with him, then!

[rollplayinghouse]

Wh—

...Didn't you just say you don't like sharing?

[sancrimony]

It's not that I don't like sharing - it's, uhm . . .

[ rrrolls over onto his back ]

In the first place, with Whisky-san - we'd already established from the beginning that he could sleep with other people, and it doesn't bother me at all for him to do that. Moreover, if something troublesome were to happen, then he can handle himself, so I don't have to worry.

[rollplayinghouse]

You don't think Doodle can handle himself?

1/

[sancrimony]

... Well -

................

[ pulling his hair to his face ]

Whether he can handle it or not . . . isn't really it. Rather -

If it's a fight, he certainly can't win. Even so, he'll try to protect himself, and he's a coward that will run away at the best opportunity, so it's not really a big deal, physically speaking. But being taken advantage of - because of the sort of person he is -

[sancrimony]

[ he takes a moment, huffs - and then, speaks more softly ]

I think it started out as feeling protective, but at some point, it changed to something else.

. . . It's not that I dislike it, but right now, my feelings are all over the place, so . . . it would be troublesome. If I thought about it more, then maybe I could . . .

[sancrimony]

[ there's a moment of silence, where his expression hardens, a crease in his brow like he looks pained - ]

[sancrimony]

[ . . . ]